Jesus said “If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all.” Mark 9:35 NIV
Why do so many marriages fail? Could it be because they didn’t put each other first? When you wake up and say your prayers to God, (Who should be first), do your thoughts then turn to coffee & food, your job; or your spouse; to your kids; or your hobbies; (sewing, roping, reading); or to church responsibilities; perhaps exercise? I just mentioned these things to emphasize how easy it is for our thoughts to turn to whatever is most important or more pressing, each morning, as the world turns!
I looked up how married couples are supposed to treat each other. I believe it is something we should read daily to remind ourselves of what we might not be doing. Marriages fail sometimes because each person is only thinking of themselves and not trying to please their partner. (This is not about sex!) This is about day to day things, such as mending a pair of jeans, or favorite shirt, or even buying a new faucet for the kitchen sink. It’s about thinking of what your wife or husband has asked you to do, because if they asked you to do something, then it’s obviously important to them.
Paul said in Ephesians 5:21-33 – “21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
If a man loves his wife as Jesus loves His Church, as above, that would mean showing a lot of love and care and respect, treating her as good as he treats himself. If a man treats his wife like that, she will receive it and immediately feel that she wants to do something good for her husband, it’s psychological, because he showed her love (not because she has to).
It’s the same feeling you feel when you receive a Christmas present from someone. You automatically think, well, now I have to buy something for them! We can’t help it, when someone does something out of love for you; it’s a reaction you want to reciprocate. I guess that’s why in Matthew 7:12, Jesus said “12So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” That’s the way we all should be.
Peter said in 1 Peter 3:7; “ 7Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”
When a man treats his wife right, she won’t have any problem doing her part. We feel like doing things for our husband when they do things for us. When Lawrence bought me a new spading fork, it made me want to go help him fix the tiller. Natural response. Go to Jesus, for He helps us when we turn to Him and ask!