Last week, we began to look into the subject of marriage and family. We discussed how the family is the bedrock of society: so goes the family, so goes the nation. We started to discuss the different roles of the family members - specifically wives. We saw clearly in The Word of God what the basic roles of wives are to be. I’m sure I got a lot of amen’s from the men; but this week we will address the role of husbands. I’m sure I’ll get a lot of amen’s from the women. Let’s open our hearts, and get into God’s Word.
Read Ephesians 5:25-33 carefully. The first thing I’d like to point out, is that vs. 25 says husbands are to love their wives, not “try” to love their wives. It is a commandment. As Mr. Miyagi said to young Danielson, “There is no try. There is only do, or don’t do.”. Husbands are to love their wives! They are good, and will give you favor (Prv 18:22)! They are from The Lord (Prv 19:14)! Live joyfully with your wife (Ecc 9:9)! Everyday husbands need to hug and kiss their wives. Tell them you love them. Tell them they’re pretty. Romance them. Show some interest in your wife, besides right before you go to bed for the night.
Also in vs. 25, it says we are to lay down our life for our bride, as Christ did for His bride (The Church). This means more than just being willing to die for your wife and kids, although that is certainly included. Giving your life also means giving yourself for her. Your time, your attention, your love, your excitement: these are to be God’s first, and then your wife’s. One HUGE problem in many marriages, is married men still want to act like single boys. You’re not single! You became one flesh with your wife! She is priority, and your buddies are not! If you want to devote all your time to hanging out with the guys, then don’t get married.
We see in vs. 26-27, that Jesus cleanses His bride with His words, so that He may present a glorious bride to Himself (Jn 15:3, Ps 119:9). In the same way, we are to cleanse our wives by our words; so we may present a glorious bride to ourselves. Death and life are in the power of our tongues. Your words build her up, or tear her down. But notice, the responsibility for the kind of bride a husband has: it is his responsibility. Do you not like the kind of wife you have? Maybe you need to change what you’ve been saying to her. Speak words of blessing; of love; of encouragement. If you’re always critical, then a discouraged and hopeless wife is what your going to present yourself with. She’s not the “Old Lady”, or “The Ol’ Ball & Chain”. She is your wife, and you need to cherish her.
Deal with your wife according to knowledge (1Pt 3:7). Give honor to your wife, as the weaker vessel. Typically, she is weaker in physical strength; as well as her emotions. This does not mean there is something wrong with her. She is fearfully and wonderfully made by God: but she is not like you. You may think her emotions are stupid, but they’re important to her - so you need to respect them. Be attentive, and listen to her. She doesn’t need you to fix her - just listen, and let her know you love and care about her.
Do not deal with your wife deceitfully (Mal 2:15). There is no room in marriage for secrets. Hidden sins and secrets will destroy a relationship. 100% honesty, not 95%, is what needs to be. Get the lie out on the table, and out of your life. Provide for your wife, and don’t be a bum (1Tim 5:8). There are way too many lazy men out there that don’t want to work. Husbands, that is your job. Don’t be looking at or messing around with other women (Job 31:1, Prv 2:16-19, 6:23-35, 7:1-27, 9:13-18). Be always satisfied with your wife (Prv 5:15-21), and don’t choose the path to Hell.
Husbands, I challenge you to be the leader. To whom much is given, much is required. Let’s not pretend to be Godly men, husbands, & leaders: let’s be Godly men, husbands, & leaders. Let’s not pretend to have integrity, honor, character, discipline, self control: Let’s have integrity, honor, character, discipline, self control. Let’s stop pretending we know God’s Word, when we don’t practice it. Let’s apply these principles, and be doers of God’s Word, not just forgetful hearers (Jam 1:22-25, Mt 7:24-27). Until next time, rejoice in The Lord! Next week: Pt 3.